Law & Order: SVU star Mariska Hargitay lost her mother, Jayne Mansfield, in a tragic car accident when she was just three years old. However, it wasn’t until much later in life that she began to truly process her grief.
Coming to Terms with Her Mother’s Death
Hargitay’s journey to properly dealing with the loss of her mother was neither quick nor easy. It took years of trial and error for her to address her feelings adequately.
“The way I’ve lived with loss is to lean into it,” Hargitay shared with People. “As the saying goes, the only way out is through. In my life, I’ve tried to avoid pain, loss, feeling things. But I’ve learned instead to really lean into it, because sooner or later you have to pay the piper.”
Therapy became a crucial tool in Hargitay’s healing process, allowing her to manage her grief in a healthier way.
“I think it saved my life,” she told CBS News. “Trauma freezes us. And I think people don’t fully understand how powerful it is.”
Hargitay discovered that she hadn’t fully moved past her mother’s death, as she had previously believed.
“I started to grieve my mother’s passing in my mid-20s, like it had happened yesterday. And I went, ‘Oh, okay, so this is still in there.’ And then as I got into therapy, I just kept getting stronger and investing in myself in a new way,” she said.
Today, Hargitay is in a much better place, benefiting from therapy and newfound clarity.
“I’m not saying it’s easy, and it certainly hasn’t been for me,” she admitted. “There’s been a lot of darkness. But on the other side, things can be so bright.”
The Burden of a Famous Name
Hargitay’s mother, Jayne Mansfield, was a well-known actress in the 1950s and 60s. Following in her late mother’s footsteps, Hargitay initially found the constant references to her mother burdensome.
“In some ways, being the daughter of a Hollywood icon has been a burden. I used to hate constant references to my mom because I wanted to be known for myself. Losing my mother at such a young age is the scar of my soul,” Hargitay told Closer.
However, it was motherhood, not her acting career, that made Hargitay feel closer to her mom. Hargitay, who shares three children with her husband Peter Hermann, found that becoming a mother herself helped her understand Mansfield more deeply.
“Being a wife and mother is my life, and that gives me the most joy. I understand [my mother] in a new way that gives me peace. Now I understand the love she had in her, and it makes me feel closer to her,” Hargitay said.
Discovering Her Mother’s Legacy
Though she spent little time with Mansfield, Hargitay has gotten to know her mother more over the years. She learned that there was much more to Mansfield than her glamorous public persona.
“My mother was this amazing, beautiful, glamorous sex symbol — but people didn’t know that she played the violin, had a 160 IQ, had five kids, and loved dogs,” Hargitay revealed. “She was just so ahead of her time. She was an inspiration; she had this appetite for life, and I think I share that with her.”
A touching piece of advice further helped Hargitay feel connected to her mother.
“Someone once said about [remembering] my mother: ‘All you have to do is look in the mirror,’” she recalled. “She’s with me still.”
Through therapy, motherhood, and a deeper understanding of her mother’s legacy, Mariska Hargitay has found a way to heal and honor Jayne Mansfield’s memory.
