Mariska Hargitay, star of Law & Order: SVU, and Peter Hermann, known for his role on Younger, met on the set of SVU and have been together for nearly two decades. Their enduring marriage is a testament to their deep connection and the unique way they resolve conflicts. Here’s a closer look at the couple’s dynamic and the practice they swear by to keep their relationship strong.
Opposites Attract
Hargitay and Hermann’s relationship wasn’t always smooth sailing. Hargitay describes herself as an introvert and Hermann as an extrovert, a difference that led to several breakups before they ultimately tied the knot. Their contrasting personalities became even more apparent after their marriage.
Hermann recalls an early moment of marital bliss: “It was about three days after the wedding and we were driving in a car, and I thought, I don’t know why everyone thinks this is so hard,” he shared in an interview with Phil Donahue and Marlo Thomas for their book What Makes a Marriage Work. “What are you talking about? We’re killing this! It was so funny.”
Resolving Arguments with Humor
Like any couple, Hargitay and Hermann have their share of disagreements. However, they have a unique way of resolving conflicts: humor. Hermann explains that being able to laugh together after an argument is a sign that everything will be okay.
“There are times when I just want to stay mad and stew all day,” says Hermann. “But sometimes, we end up laughing together before the argument has a chance to linger.”
He recounts a recent argument where he was determined to stay angry: “Like the other night, when we really had it out, and the next morning I was still fuming. I was so determined to be mad at her the whole day. And then we looked at each other and just started laughing. Suddenly, all the air went out of the fight.”
Unconditional Love and Joy
Hermann attributes the longevity of their marriage to Hargitay’s unwavering love and their mutual sense of humor. “I never thought that I would laugh this much in my marriage,” he says. “That is such a fundamental ingredient of who [Mariska is], this insistence on joy. And I think what sustains our marriage is that I know [Mariska] loves me in spite of who I am, and that is the definition of grace.”
Their ability to find joy and laughter even in challenging times has been crucial to their relationship. For Hargitay and Hermann, laughter is not just a way to defuse tension but a vital component of their love and commitment to each other.
In essence, Mariska Hargitay and Peter Hermann’s marriage thrives on a balance of humor, unconditional love, and an insistence on finding joy in every moment. Their story is a beautiful example of how opposites can complement each other and create a lasting, loving partnership.
