Mariska Hargitay, known for her role on “Law & Order: SVU,” recalls a poignant moment in her relationship with “Younger” star Peter Hermann. Before their marriage, the couple decided to part ways, a decision that was both challenging and transformative for them.
In the book “What Makes a Marriage Last” by Marlo Thomas and Phil Donahue, Hargitay shares an emotional memory of inviting Hermann to a big Thanksgiving dinner she had meticulously prepared. She was disappointed when Hermann was the first to leave.
“I remember it was Thanksgiving, and he came to my house,” Hargitay recounted. “I had all these people over—it was beautiful and a very big deal—and he was the first to leave. I thought, ‘Wait, what? Are you in or are you out? I’m in, but I’m only in if we’re both in.’ I was in love and ready to really move forward.”
Hermann explained that he needed to take a step back despite his feelings for Hargitay. He wanted to ensure he was in the right place before fully committing to their relationship.
“There was this process going on that involved learning what it meant to actually open yourself up to somebody,” Hermann told Donahue and Thomas. “There were certainly fireworks going off, but for me, the next step after the fireworks was full alert. I think that’s the best way of saying it.”
Hermann took relationships seriously and wanted to approach their future thoughtfully. “It’s a serious endeavor,” he said.
Hargitay, though heartbroken, admired Hermann’s depth and his approach to love and relationships. She appreciated how seriously he took their relationship, even if it meant they had to part ways for a while.
“It is a serious endeavor, and this is what I love about Peter,” said Hargitay. “He’s so thoughtful and there’s nothing surfacey about it. If you ask him a question, there’s no skating over the top. But I will say that we were in different places, and I love how seriously he took it. I’m a much more instinctual human being.”
Their first date after the breakup was on Valentine’s Day, a date filled with emotion and realization. Hargitay was moved to tears when she saw that they were finally on the same page.
“So, we went out to dinner on Valentine’s Day, and we both gave each other the exact same gift. It was so crazy. We both gave each other a book by Andy Goldsworthy, our favorite artist, called ‘Time.’ We’d seen a documentary on him called ‘Rivers and Tides.’ It was about making art for the sake of the moment, having no attachment to it. When we went to this restaurant in Tribeca, I was so excited to give him this book for Valentine’s Day. And then I saw him pull out the same book and give it to me. I just started crying. And, again, I just knew.”
This emotional and meaningful exchange reaffirmed their connection and set the foundation for their future together. Hargitay and Hermann’s journey is a testament to the power of patience, understanding, and deep emotional connection in a relationship.