**Mariska Hargitay Explains Why She Could Not Watch Law & Order: SVU’s 500th Episode**
Mariska Hargitay, the iconic face of *Law & Order: SVU*, made a surprising confession about one of the most important episodes in the show’s history: she couldn’t bring herself to watch the 500th episode. For fans who have been dedicated to the series, this might come as a shock. After all, Hargitay, as Olivia Benson, has been the heart and soul of *SVU* for over two decades. But the reason behind her hesitation is deeply personal and speaks volumes about the emotional investment she’s put into her character.
### The Emotional Weight of 500 Episodes
Reaching the 500th episode was no small feat. It was a milestone not just for the show but for Hargitay herself, who has been with *SVU* since day one. For her, Olivia Benson isn’t just a role – she’s a part of her life. Hargitay has openly talked about how portraying a character who fights for justice, particularly for victims of sexual violence, has changed her on a personal level. “Olivia Benson is in my DNA,” Hargitay once said in an interview, and that connection is exactly why the 500th episode was too much for her to watch.
The landmark episode, which aired in the show’s 23rd season, explored Benson’s complicated past, bringing back people from her life and resurfacing memories that hit close to home. For Hargitay, reliving all the emotional highs and lows her character has endured over the years was overwhelming. She admitted that the thought of watching those intense scenes made her anxious. The episode wasn’t just another milestone; it represented two decades of her life’s work, filled with triumphs, heartbreak, and immense growth, both personally and professionally.
### The Toll of Carrying the Show
One of the reasons Hargitay avoided watching the 500th episode was the sheer emotional weight of carrying a show like *SVU* for so long. Since 1999, Hargitay has been at the forefront of a series that tackles some of the darkest topics imaginable. While viewers see Benson as a fierce advocate for victims, Hargitay has also absorbed the trauma that comes with portraying such an intense character.
During interviews, Hargitay has confessed that there are times when the storylines hit too close to home, and it’s hard to separate herself from the role. Playing Olivia Benson, who deals with unimaginable violence and injustice, has been a rewarding but taxing experience. In fact, Hargitay has spoken publicly about how her work on the show inspired her to found the Joyful Heart Foundation, which aids survivors of sexual assault and domestic abuse.
### A Personal Journey
Hargitay’s reluctance to watch the 500th episode also reflects how personal this journey has been for her. Over the years, she’s formed deep connections with not only the cast and crew but also with the audience. Fans often approach her, sharing their own stories of survival and how *SVU* has helped them feel heard and validated. Knowing how much this show means to people adds another layer of pressure and responsibility for Hargitay.
In the end, the 500th episode was more than just another installment of a TV series. It was a culmination of Olivia Benson’s growth and Hargitay’s own evolution as an actress, advocate, and individual. To sit down and watch it would mean confronting the immense emotional weight of everything she and her character have been through. As she said in a candid interview, “I couldn’t separate myself enough to watch it as a viewer. It’s too close.”
### Moving Forward
While Hargitay couldn’t watch the 500th episode, her commitment to *SVU* remains as strong as ever. The actress has signed on for future seasons, and fans can rest assured that Olivia Benson’s story is far from over. Each new episode brings fresh challenges, and Hargitay continues to pour her heart and soul into the role.
In the world of television, few actors are as closely tied to their characters as Mariska Hargitay is to Olivia Benson. Her inability to watch *SVU’s* 500th episode is a testament to the depth of her dedication. After all, when you’ve given two decades of your life to a character, sometimes the lines between reality and fiction blur, making it difficult to step back and simply watch the story unfold.
For Hargitay, *SVU* isn’t just a job – it’s a personal mission, and that’s why her connection to the show remains unparalleled.
