Emmy-winning actress Mariska Hargitay, known for her role as a dedicated cop on Law & Order: SVU, opened up about her personal experience with sexual assault in a poignant essay. She revealed that her assailant was someone she once considered a friend. “Then he wasn’t,” she wrote.
Hargitay recounted the harrowing ordeal, describing how she tried to escape the situation with humor, charm, boundaries, and reason. “I tried all the ways I knew to get out of it. I tried to make jokes, to be charming, to set a boundary, to reason, to say no. He grabbed me by the arms and held me down. I was terrified,” she shared.
At 59, Hargitay admitted that the trauma was so overwhelming she suppressed the memory to survive. “I now have so much empathy for the part of me that made that choice because that part got me through it. It never happened,” she reflected.
It wasn’t until she shared her experience with close friends that she began to understand its true impact. Their gentle acknowledgment helped her face the reality. “They were gentle and kind and careful, but their naming it was important. It wasn’t a confrontation, like ‘You need to deal with what happened,’ it was like looking at it in the light of day,” she explained. “Then I had my own realization. My own reckoning.”
In 2004, Hargitay founded the Joyful Heart Foundation to support survivors of abuse and sexual violence. “I was building Joyful Heart on the outside so I could do the work on the inside. I think I also needed to see what healing could look like,” she said.
Portraying Olivia Benson on SVU also provided her with strength, as survivors often shared how the show inspired and empowered them. “They’ve experienced darkness and cruelty, an utter disregard for another human being, and they’ve done what they needed to survive. For some, that means making Olivia Benson a big part of their lives — which is an honor beyond measure—for others, it means building a foundation,” she wrote.
Hargitay once hoped society would shift to celebrate survivors of sexual violence as it does those who overcome cancer, rather than shaming them. Now, she’s more determined than ever to end the violence perpetuated by entrenched power structures.
“This is a painful part of my story,” she wrote. “I’m turning 60, and I’m so deeply grateful for where I am. I’m renewed and I’m flooded with compassion for all of us who have suffered.”
